Thursday, September 21st, 2017
Home »Articles and Letters » Articles » Partly Facetious: Nisar’s recent interview
"The Man Who Shall Remain Nameless is strutting around taking all the credit."

"Who do you mean?"

"I thought you knew."

"After the disqualification of Nawaz Sharif you need to narrow it down for me."

"Don't be facetious."

"It's true, you know - Chaudhry Nisar's recent interview led to the First Daughter hurling thinly veiled insults at him, a response to his assessment of her political credentials and..."

"I think they were not veiled at all....our political heavy weights are not known for that....but in any case Chaudhry Nisar must surely know that a First Daughter always trumps a LTA -Long Time Associate."

"There are some who reckon his statement would strengthen the First Daughter."

"I really don't see how she can be strengthened further, I mean she is the most powerful individual in this country what with the entire Abbasi cabinet of her selection; but you know once Nawaz Sharif realizes that his party would evaporate if he doesn't give the mantle of power to Shahbaz Sharif then Chaudhry Nisar may re-emerge... I know there are some who claim that Shahbaz Sharif and Chaudhry Nisar are not on the same page with respect to the First Daughter but they are surely understating Shahbaz Sharif's legitimate ambitions and..."

"That's all very well but knowing Mian sahib I think given a choice he would rather see the party evaporate..."

"Oh dear, anyway that brings me to another Man Who Should Remain Nameless and here I refer to the goat, you know mein, mein, mein (the cry of a goat in Urdu and reflecting delusions of grandeur in English) who made an appalling mistake by referring to our foreign policy as requiring a revisit and since Nawaz Sharif held that portfolio for the past four years......"

"He was attacking the establishment which is why he retains the portfolio."

"Ah right so who did you mean by the Man Who Shall Remain Nameless?"

"I used the word strutting. Now I ask you are any of the gentlemen you named strutting?"

"The goat is and even though a goat is supposed to amble and not strut it is the beauty of the PML-N..."

"Oh, don't be facetious - I meant the guy who heads the cricket board!"

"He is on the way out definitely."

"Why he has got the World XI to play here and..."

"He has not once rejected Mian sahib's disqualification or talked about the truth of the narrative of the Father and the Daughter..."

"And the Holy Ghost?"

"Hey don't be facetious. Besides the First Daughter angered the archbishop of Cathedral church by giving a political speech when she said she wanted to pray for her mum's recovery."

"Ah that creates another Man Who Shall Remain Nameless - the Statistics Minister who arranged the event."

"I give up."

the author